Becoming an upstanding guy

If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s sitting too much.

My job has me sitting in front of a computer all day. So when I’m not doing my job, I don’t want to sit in front of a computer. That’s when I sit and have dinner. Or sit and watch TV. Or sit on my bike and ride (and listen to Queen). I’m sure if my dogs were larger, I might sit on them and let them take me from room to room.

And now doctors say that sitting can shorten your life!

Now that just makes it hard to write the fun stuff.

Years ago, when I worked in a corporate office, I got a call from the company ergonomics consultant. (Really, we had one.) She asked me how I was and how my cubicle arrangement was working for me. I remember telling her that I occasionally wished I could stand at my desk and work. I didn’t really want to stand all day, but there were times that I was tired of sitting and needed a change of position.

“So you need a standing desk.”
“Well, I’m not sure I want to stand all the time, so it would be nice if it could transition back to a sitting desk when I needed it.”

She claimed she didn’t have any of those, but would look into it for me.

Not long after that, I was 'downsized.' Hmm, I hadn’t really put the two together until now.

Nevertheless, more than a dozen years later, I’m still sitting at my desk, at home, and still having my bills paid, indirectly, by the same company.

I had already started to revisit my idea of a standing desk about the time the doctors had decided to take a contract out on all of us desk jockeys.

The web is a wonderful place to not reinvent the wheel, and it inspired me to get off my butt, as it were, and come up with a solution. For me, the best solution is something that doesn’t cost much. I like to claim it’s my Scottish heritage that makes me cheap frugal. The truth is, I think I’m just frugal cheap.

When I told him my plans, Mr. Husband said, “you can’t stand and work all day; you’ll get tired.”

I don’t plan to stand and work all day, I thought. Who does? I take breaks, have lunch, and an afternoon coffee and a few pages of a book. I can sit in my comfortable, reclining, reading chair whenever I want.

He then answered my loving-but-stubborn glare with, “But you’re going to do what you’re going to do anyway.”

This constant, unwavering support is why I married him.

Not long ago I converted an extra door into a desktop. One always has a door around the house they’re not using, right? This is currently balanced on two different computer desks that were the same height. Why do I have more than one computer desk? Long story short: work.

I also have a good-sized desk that is also taking up some room in my office. It’s where I put everything I don’t want to deal with right away. It’s behind me while I work so in a good year I don’t accomplish much over there.

Levitating the door 10” above my desk would give me more years with the man of my dreams, solve the crisis in the Middle East, and get The Beatles back together. I’m estimating one trip to the local lumber store this weekend and about $20 should do it.

And then I can just sit back and…oh...Damn!